I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!

 I thought the human race being the intelligent creatures we are, usually invent and come up with the easiest and shortest ways around  situations!? We got tired of candles, someone invented the light bulb; We got tired of walking, people started coming up with all modes of transportation. In the new age of texting we’ve come up with slangs such as “brb” , “ttyl” and “lol” just so we don’t have to go through the rigors of bogus words and sentences (yawning lazily); Microchips have shrunken to the Nano and so on…. So how is it that a simple 3 word sentence like “I love you” gets to be stretched out to one of 5 or 6 words instead? Well I have a theory…

It turns out that the phrase “fall in love” is  connected to the idea of “falling head over heels,” which was used in the 1300s, and is another term for being struck suddenly by great romantic attraction to someone else. (Excerpt from wisegeek.com)

The key phrase here is “Romantic attraction” people. What is that?! You either love the person or you don’t! Or why not just say “I’m romantically attracted to you”, and quit confusing people? Its all based on chemicals I tell you!

Okay back to the subject matter… my theory of the origin of this appalling modification.

Well there is no easy way for me to say this but if this sentence can actually be linked back to the 1300s then I believe it was coined up by some womanizing Knight, for some unfortunate fair maiden. No, scratch that! More a Troubadour than a Knight…. or maybe he was both.

In his bid to woo this fair lady he will do all he can to win her affection but his honor will not allow him speak those  3 sacred words in deceit. It would be sacrilege! (…maybe he’s a Knight after all)

There’s the option of him saying “I lust you”, but then in an era of chivalry such as his, he has no intention of devaluing the virtue of his one night stand, not verbally anyway. He writes her shams of love letters and poetry telling her how beautiful she is; How the shape of her eyes reminds him of stars and all that jazz, but the player still doesn’t score. This maiden is a hard nut to crack, a challenge, but he will not back down! (…definitely a Knight!)

The situation calls for drastic measures. He now realises how desperately he has to incorporate the sacred words into his libretto or else risk losing out on this conquest. A bulb lights up in his head. Eureka!

(The Victorian Player)

Down on one knee; her hand in his, he speaks the words ….”I am in Love with You”.

SCORE!!!!!!!!!

The maiden is flustered. She takes the bate all because somewhere in that sentence she hears I, Love and You. Its a happy day for both parties. She goes away feeling that she has the heart of a man now and he goes away with the experience of them doing the nasty somewhere in the woods or perhaps even in a barn.

They probably meet the next day and he pretends like nothing has transpired between them, and when she asks about his words of love he then repeats his statement s-l-o-w-l-y, adding that it was actually a declaration of his “Burning desire”. She really can’t argue with his defense so I’m guessing she ends up throwing herself off a bridge or something… And so birthed the era of damage and heartbreak all because of 5, no, 6 little words. The invention of this lengthier statement has however aided a cult of people since then. Till this very day, in the wrong hands it is one of the most valued weapons used in hurting the vulnerable heart.

Casanova may have got all the credit for being the god father of womanizers but trust me, the faceless individual with the gumption to come up with a sentence so strong, so passionate, so intense would definitely have bagged a whole lot more chicks than dear  Giacomo.

But I think I would have done it even better… Why waste time thinking up new sentences when all you need do is say “I LOVE YOU”, fingers crossed?

…JUST MESSING WITH YAL!!!! 😉

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart, or burn down your house, you can never tell.”

-Joan Crawford