Rambling – Festival King

I WANT SUPERMAN!

In a relationship, whether platonic or intimate there is a part of us that expects a sort of perfection from our partners. He or she is supposed to be that rock you can lean on in times of insecurity. You have a bad day and they’ll be there to say the right words, cook you your favourite meal or even ease the tension with mind blowing sex…. But what happens when all that doesn’t help? Allow me share with you a lesson I was taught yesterday…

I was having an evening of unclear moments about the future and so I started a whatsapp chat with my BF (Boyfriend of course… But yeah also Best friend). I expressed my feelings of depression and how unclear I was about work, my future and sorts. I’m not quite sure what I was expecting from a man two continents away from me, but it just felt like the best thing to do at the time. Sure that his response would be how sorry he was for not being here to comfort me… not necessarily through sex, I waited for the pity party to begin.

Conversation went thus:

Me: Getting real low right now. Missing my dad.

BF: I’m sorry sweetie, What’s going on?

Me: Freaking out about work and my future. I think its the flu getting to some nerve in my brain

BF: Well you should watch 2 videos before I say anything to you. First YouTube joseph prince, I forget the title.

Me: Prince of egypt?!

BF: Something like letting Jesus works or something. NO, Joseph Prince.

Silly Me 😛 : O! Lol! OK

He referred me to two wonderful 6 minute inspirational videos, one of which was titled “Let go and let God’s supply flow.

Fast forward through our conversation:

BF: Watch em both. I have an interview in 3 minutes so I’ll leave you with this: You haven’t made any mistakes in your life yet.

Not much of a pity party after all! 🙂

We all want someone that will understand and feel for us when we are down. We want him or her to give us that shoulder or back rub and ask what they can do to make it better or even go away, and when they are miles away, for them to tell us how things will get better as soon as they get back… “Just a little while longer babe!” They say.

Well that chat was an eye opener for me. I learned that as much as I want a man to be there for me, to be that shoulder to cry on and ear to listen to me jabber rocks about life’s woes and all, I also NEED him to be real. A real partner will listen, he or she will support you but what they won’t do is try to play superman because IT DOESN’T WORK!

1st Scenario:
You’ve ranted about how things aren’t just working out. Partner starts with some words of encouragement, a back rub, your favourite meal and finally great sex, but then what? You probably get tired, you drift off… and then when you wake up later you find yourself back at square one.

Understand that the coach talk, to the massage , to even the point where you both are knocking boots is just a fix. Empathy and petting are all necessary but what is MOST important in times of uncertainty and weakness is for a partner to make you see how they actually don’t have all the answers … They probably don’t have any!

Along with the show of empathy, encouragement and care, he/she is meant first and foremost to get you back in focus with The Big Man Himself. Only HE is able to meet you at your point of need.

2nd Scenario:
You get home feeling downcast and your partner says “Baby, you have a problem, I get that and its ok. You know I love you and am here for you if you need to talk but right now what I need for you to do for me is to take sometime to talk to Jesus. I know it might not be what you want to hear, but you will thank me later. Now go pray while I make you that ___ you love so much.” Rubbing your back he or she says “I’ll be right here when you are done ok baby. I love you.” You probably get a quick but loving kiss planted on your pouting lips 😉

Well I feel that partner has played his/her true role as Superman don’t you?

My BF set a standard for me last night… He taught me that a real Superman is the kind of man or woman who will not only endeavour to support you body and soul, but will ALSO make you see how much of a superman imposter he or she really is.
The perfect partner will lovingly remind you how when in search for “Superman” you will find Him while on your knees in prayer! 🙂

Cheers! 😉

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Quote

I’m so lucky to be someone’s baby, two people actually! There’s my Mother and then… I’ll let you guess who the other person is 😉
My Mom gave me this inscribed plaque today in her bid to refuel my morale 😉 and I just thought I should share it with you.

“When you believe in yourself, the possibilities are endless.”

I couldn’t agree more!

There’s nothing as wonderful as a supportive parent.
Thank you Mama dearest for being there for me 🙂

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Letter to God

Might I sing a song like Solomon‘s,
asking for your arms to embrace me;
to shield me from the cruelty of Adam,
his unknowingness and the deep darkness of his heart

Can I ask for your love to guide me;
to steer my soul,
to be my north star in this maze called life….

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What More Could THIS Daughter Ask For!

🙂 Just Click!==> “What More Could THIS Daughter Ask For!“.

My Resolutions

Its the month of the crab people! 🙂 (OK, the other month of the crab) and JUST A FEW WEEKS TO MY BIRTHDAY!!! No, this post does not contain my wish list ….that will come later 😉 (lol!)

This may sound funny, but I have always seen my birthday as the real moment for ushering in the new year. I take my time to make new resolutions weeks before “D-day” and spend the next year working on my new cause. I turned the big “THREE- O” last year and weeks before my birthday, no, this time it was months before my birthday! I began panicking about entering the 3rd decade of my life without the “would be” fulfillment of most women my age (you know- A home, marriage, kids and perhaps a dog or maybe even a cat). I was fortunate enough to have the encouragement of friends older than myself, either of a similar circumstance or lucky enough to be living the fairytale life.

I specifically remember the advice of a girlfriend of mine. Chidinma, then in the 2nd year of her 30’s, 4 years married and a mom of 2, told told me with eyes rolling

“marriage and all that comes with it is …yes, wonderful! But if you don’t have it at this time, don’t sweat it, it will come at the right moment and hopefully you will have what it takes (i.e. the maturity and patience)to see yours through. No panic, go throw yourself for the wrong man hand o! This is the time to love yourself and love life, and instead of becoming desperate for what you don’t have, look to what you do have and appreciate it ALL.”

I took that piece of advice and have held on to it till this very day! 30 has finally come and as its about flying out the window, I can proudly say that I have spent this year being more appreciative of my every breath of life and the people I share it with. So on to the next one! 🙂

This coming year its all about:

Eating Healthy – I seem to have over indulged myself for most of last year ( must’ve gone a bit over board with the whole love myself move :D). I believe I gained about 10 pounds ’cause I’m almost a dress size bigger now 😐 . So no more sweet stuff for me! No more junk! no more cakes! …Getting very sad as I write all this :(, but its called sacrifice 😉 and luckily for me not only is Chidinma a wonderful counselor, she’s also coaching me through this new life style of mine … GO CHIDINMA!!!! 🙂
Joining a Cause – I believe that is very necessary for everyone to join a selfless cause at some point in their life and for me its going down in mid- 2012! Well I’m still looking for one though, so if you have any ideas or links please hook me up pronto!!! THANKS! 😉
Rekindle my passion for Pets (Dogs to be more exact) -There was a time I could tell you a lot about dog breeding and care; I could walk into most houses where there were dogs unafraid, and when all my passwords had something to do with canines or bore the name of my pets. I still love dogs and have 2 beautiful Alsatians back in my home town, but its time to step it up a bit. I intent becoming more informed about these wonderful creatures (the different breed, their temperaments, and how best to care for them). No, I’m not looking at becoming another “Dog Whisperer“, but I do plan on taking care of a number of them like I did as a kid someday.
Keep Loving ME and Stay Positive about the Future – I believe that sums it up. Still single, no kids and yet to land my dream job but hey, THIS IS LIFE and I am and will continue living it for all its worth :). Sure, sometimes I ache for the next chapter whatever it maybe, but I will be sure to keep reminding myself that it is best to be thankful for “the here and now” and be hopeful for the future.

I know there is so much more I intend doing this new year but I can’t think of them all right now, so I’ll be sure to fill you in on my progress come next year God willing. 😉

Cheers! 🙂

P.S- Wish list coming soon 😉

😀 HEHEHE!!!!

Expressing me

“Good and Sad writing, Sad and Heartfelt, Good and yet painful to read”…. These are a few of the comments born of my poetic seed. It makes you wonder the sort of woman I am, but I couldn’t agree more with these observations of men. My work is sad and yes, sometimes painful, still it gives me great joy when on paper I engrave them.

Though a good number of my expression is cast in shade, from a jolly heart it is made. Known to be quite witty, yet rendering no real “Laughable Moments” in what I poetically enunciate.

So what is my Muse and what drives me? … Call me a Back-Bencher if you will, but I have always preferred to blend with the backdrop of life’s scenes; I observe human interaction, and note response to emotional stimuli. From the outside, looking in, I write what I see.

Grim as it may seem, I actually find it easier to translate human confusion, lust and sadness; I resign to reach into the depths of others, probably because I am too scared to explore my own darkness. I stare through the windows of their emotion and create an impression of their feelings; the actions of even a stranger will give my words meaning.

Unfamiliar with the art of poetry, besides nursery rhymes I recited as a child I bear little interest in the works of T.S Eliot and Oscar Wilde. Happy as any surreal artist with words to say, more than willing am I to bear the title of “Sad writer” if to some accidental reader my literary inscriptions may relate.