Tag: quotes

Pretty Heels

Walking in her pretty heels,
Surety in her stride,
unseen pressure points
and pain hidden that
only translate to varicose veins

Life, one big test- a parlay
To the party, initiated at first breath
Trials giving way to testimony, leading
to testament at death.

Her unfolding story is mine
of boulders crashing down
tempests unresting versus the calm
spectator and actor amidst the rise and falls
A tumultuous mind, groaning existence

Stings ease with each silent scream
Suicide- won’t welcome the hand that
suddenly ends the huddles, the runs,
crashes and burns, the rumps, the bumps
and turns- Puddles of mud laying in front,
…So tired of the jump

Her life- a misty mirror with its many cracks
Tears mapping her yesterday
and in that same distance, trails of
“honey-coated” memories- strengthening
 here and tomorrow, .

Brighter days just up ahead,
Rays soon to pierce through the gloom-
in hope she spurs on
heart focused on a multicolored dawn

Calm waters, sweet sea breeze, blue skies
wind and sea bird cries
the taste of salt, the feel of sand grains
marking her almost naked skin – “a daydream”

In reality, life’s current rages on,
She’s super girl- “S” on her chest,
taking on the world with music in her steps
In her pretty heels, walking life’s yellow brick road,
They still sting yet her expressions will never show.

Really, every woman is an example to me, because as women we go through so much pain. We have to live this perfect life when we are messed up inside. We all go through trials and tribulations.
Mary J. Blige

Child Soldier

Arms weigh upon an innocent chest
  Hands no bigger than my vexing fist
  I vex for  wasted innocence
  Children  of  War, to
  violence  Tabula rasa exposed
  Morbid scenes causing mental overload
Monster turned by circumstance
  Not far long a living seed
  Raped prematurely of compassion,
  No feeling- Not for breasts from which weaned
  less for tears and mercy cries of a stranger
Cold eyes, such beautiful eyes
  turned cold
  Cold heart, what promise once held
  now frozen
  Cold soul...
  Who will drag them in from the cold?
  Who will LOVE and redeem them?
Yet with opened eyes and souls restored
  The weights upon them - heavier than the gun!
  Once violent hearts now grasping "Truth"
  of their wasted innocence
  and futile youth
  Puppets for political gain
  Urchin's past- A tale of pain
  Scarred forever with unbearable shame
 Damned be the Elders, the ones to blame.

 “But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone hung around your neck.”-Mark 9:42

Ligo Haibun Challenge- Dewdrops

Googled!

“…for the Lord God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground, but there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.” – Genesis 2:5&6

She longs to catch a glimpse of what might have been…

Rising long before the Sun,  just as creation made her, she steps out of her abode and onto the freshly cut lawn- The silent twilight greeting her.

Only moments outside, yet all too quickly her skin is wrapped in  perspiration, not of her own but Gaya’s- Fresh and cool; Wet grass embracing her feet- The total experience causing her to shiver… She’s cold. Finally bearing witness to Genesis 2:6… “The Mist that waters the face of the Earth” lay thick in the atmosphere and all around her.

She stills her naked body in the middle of the open space and is cloaked by the light fog around her; Eyes closed, she fills her lungs with Gaya’s cold breath- Embracing the silence of the slowly coming Morn.

…. In that moment she is in Eden.

Tears mix with Dewdrops...
 Insanity born from faith
 ...Her faith... her madness.
Ligo Haibun Challenge- Dewdropsligo-challenge_logo

Catch 22 (Haiku)

 

Can't touch, won't dare touch!
Can't taste... might as well swallow
...I look, and it hurts

Life deals a joker
Set at odds with my desire
...Love is paradox

Poignant

I see nothing
speak nothing
hear nothing
My monkeys 3, in a state of Nirvana

Dwelling in nothingness,
Paralyzed by emptiness
Too tired to be angry
Could one be more sad?

It feels painful just to breathe
yet I hold it in till I am pale
Probably for the torture
Probably to prove I still exist.

I war against image and color
closing my eyes to lose sight
wanting them all to disappear atleast for a moment
those daily icons of life

I want nothing!
not to breath!
not to speak!
Not to see!

I push away all that is beautiful
From sight,
to sound,
to word

Turning off my radio,
Dismissing friends,
I become silence itself,

I want nothing
… Not even to feel.img20190831002425.jpg

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.- Carl Jung

Its dverse Open Link night so come on over and show us what you’ve got! 😉 

My road to enlightenment

A little wiser than yesterday

The room upstairs, initially a dull shade
but filled with many treasures
needing only a spark to brighten the space

A little wiser than yesterday

The chamber in my head brightens from a deem,
light emanating from a match
but I have my sights set on a blazing bush

A little wiser than yesterday

There’s  a progressive glow each day
as wisdom becomes watchword
and knowledge my banner

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious – Carl Jung

Quote

I’m so lucky to be someone’s baby, two people actually! There’s my Mother and then… I’ll let you guess who the other person is 😉
My Mom gave me this inscribed plaque today in her bid to refuel my morale 😉 and I just thought I should share it with you.

“When you believe in yourself, the possibilities are endless.”

I couldn’t agree more!

There’s nothing as wonderful as a supportive parent.
Thank you Mama dearest for being there for me 🙂

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

The words of a foreign body

She’s crying again, her vibrating sobs seem to echo through. There’s talk  about doctors and pills and how time seems to be running out. I can feel the build up of tension as it invades my space, voices raise as the conversation reaches its climax and then something slams shut. We are alone again, she, drowning in her tears and I, left to feeling every bit of her pain.

Its quiet, there’s little movement and shes breathing calmly now… She’s asleep I believe. This is the only time I get to exist without her negative air trying to choke the peace out of me… Its been like this for a few days now, up until then  she had been a much jollier person.  I have experienced her many emotions during the course of my existence but this feeling of hurt had never been so intense till she found out about me. Often times I wonder if I am the reason for her tears, shouldn’t I be here? ….Maybe if I keep still long enough she will forget that I’m here and things will return to normal, but I doubt that will work, it would only make me even more uncomfortable.

She wakes and I don’t feel that intense sadness anymore, it seems to have been replaced by this unexplainable calm while she slept.  I’m not sure I like this sensation… there’s this feeling of disconnect, almost as though she’s keeping her true feelings from me and I’m left all alone in this weightless wonderland. I hear her voice as she speaks to an unheard other, the word “doctor” comes up again and an appointment has just been set for tomorrow… If only I could go back to the first 3 moons of my existence when it was all about food and swimming, she felt happier and so did I… Now all I may ever know is her feeling of regret and my feeling of rejection…

“There is nothing in the whole world so painful as feeling that one is not liked. It always seems to me that people who hate me must be suffering from some kind of lunacy.” – Sei Shonagon

Her Real Awakening

6:20A.M:
The sky slowly lights up and rays from the still hidden sun softly filter into a dimly lit bedroom, to reveal a dark, feminine figure tossing uncomfortably on her bed. Her body, unwilling to wake continues to fight the break of day , yet in her subconscious she begins to narrate her daily anthem :

“Sometimes I wake in the night. Alone. Thoughts of decisions made. Thoughts of opportunities. Gone. I toss, I turn, and eventually sleep again. I wake to a new dawn, wiser. I awake to the first day….. of the rest of my life”

 Approaching the end of her mental monologue, she lay still on her back. Eyes shut, she inhales deeply,  and as air is released from her chest  her eyes pop wide open. This is her daily ritual for embracing the dawn after which she usually springs up to begin a new day. Today however things have taken on a different shape. Her ritual lacks its edge. On a normal morning everything she did was marked from the moment the sun began to peep through the horizon to her recital and everything else that followed, but presently she seemed stuck  in the moment “embracing the dawn” for much longer that usual. She lay almost lifeless in bed as though desiring for time to stand still. She found herself going over the anthem again and again, and the more she did the more paralyzed she felt. The words seem to take on new meaning today. An expected reaction of course for a woman only hours away from her 3oth birthday. In retrospect surely she had taken a lot for granted in her life time leading her to miss out on A LOT of opportunities, which included a few marriage proposals here and there. Regret was normal for a woman her age, but sadly she doubted that she had learned much from her mistake or that she was any wiser today. Her babyish looks and her overly free spirited way of life seemed to have been her curse.
Summoning up nerve she finally manages to drag herself out of bed to commence her last experience as a woman of the 20’s club. Slowly making her way towards the bathroom she heads straight for the sink. A splash of ice cold water on the face seems to do her some good when she pauses again at the sight of her own reflection in the mirror, and once again she is thrown into a state of panic. Maybe its her imagination but she suddenly notices stress lines and wrinkles across her face that may or may not have been there the night before. A some-what thorough inspection of her facial features is carried out. She pokes and pulls at the skin and at the same time makes funny faces to ease the tension welling up inside her.”You done dey old o babe” she says under her breath while looking back at her untidy frame and playfully pulling at her kinky locks of hair. Standing erect and very still she stares seriously at the mid-aged reflection of herself and suddenly realizes how  ironic the phrase”I awake to the first day….. of the rest of my life”  seems for that very moment in time. Yes, it is her first day…and yet her last as she dies to one decade to be born into the next. She smiles….