Tag: Life

Attraction in a dark room

A meeting, sweet.
Dark room,
flickering lights mingled
with laughter and fright,

We are children again,
Sucked in by the fantasy
of animation in technicolor.

Our guard let down,
Two strangers in the dark,
Popcorn, sweeter when shared.
Together we experience the coaster ride.
..and what a ride!
New friendship exits a luminate room.

Night carries on but again adults we become.
You, the sweetest creature and I, unsure.
Dare I try to peel away your surface?
I may be sucked in!

“Perhaps another life” you once wrote,
Well all so very true,
Thoughts of you,
Thoughts of us,
And then me thinks…
Contentment will have to do…

My Dark Muse (My Muse is Black today!..)

My Muse is Black today!..

She is black today…

She weighs upon my chest
words that make no sense,
Much nonsense put on paper
with the many blip-blips to censor
dark expression flowing from a broken center

My muse damns me to this inspiration,
Choke-filled with life’s putrid manifestation
Vexed from the stings of bites not felt
yet heard and seen…

I am ANGRY! because its Death for breakfast,
War and Anarchy! My pain is palpable- come- cut,
taste with me- This muse is ours,
Awakenings to life’s woes she showers us constantly

Even in the comfort of home, exposed
by the media drawing my attention to the next bomb
that explodes, Reports of wars-disasters and poverty
“Oops! This just in, more fatalities…”
Fake- ass governments and their bullshit policies,
Resolute terrorists making God seem the enemy…

Her essence causing these scales fall- BUT resiliently,
For lies will always be sweeter than honesty, now
lying naked to the truth and left questioning,
Existence!… is it Hell or is it Purgatory?

Reminder…

I smile as I see your face in my wallet…
Traces of you that had begun to fade
and as I am reminded
Sadness drapes over me-thick
curtains at the Epiphany…
” I lost you that day, most certainly”

I stare a little longer
The portal to your soul giving
life to you portrait,
Your eyes beaming back at me,
I hear your laughter- Deep,
Commanding… Gentle,
I breathe a sigh with eyes closed
and hold you in my mental.

2 years you’ve been gone, it feels like 3
Death was cruel to snatch you from me,
Each year passes bringing its distance
Your birthday last year… forgive me, I missed it 😦
But it doesn’t mean you are lost to me
Neither are you forgotten,
‘Just wish I didn’t have to depend on a picture,
I’d rather stare at you in person!

Deeply  embedded you are in my history
The foundation of my family tree…
To forget you Papa… would be to forget me.
So I’ll hold on to your pictures and be reminded
In hope that at journey’s end we’ll be reunited

Love,
Your daughter

My Teeth

peuf_20130304_133.jpgNo teeth
 Fresh and Innocent
 Gurgles
 Giggles
 Cries
 The only lingo I know
Milk teeth
 A little rascal
 The curious cat
 Quickly building vocab
Permanent teeth
 Imperfect and flawed
 Yet quite the lady
 Expression discovered
 through a pseudonym
False teeth
 Aging nicely... I hope!
 Still repping Festival King
 Gathered experience births
 wisdom flavoured words
No teeth
 Six feet under
 My testament left behind
 A time capsule
 Festival King still alive
To bloggers long after I'm gone:
 Welcome! 🙂
 Glad you found me
 You need not follow
 But do feel free to like at will 😉

Its about Time on dVerse tonight! 🙂

Thanks for the prompt Mary! 😉

Cheers! 🙂

Blogging, Broadcasting and Christ

When I first started my blogs I never realized just how many people would get to read my posts, neither did I consider the sort of people that would come across my messages. Today however, was an eye opener to that reality.

People from all facets of life will read your stuff and if you make enough sense the usual case is that they get impacted with some form of entertainment, encouragement or inspiration. They will leave comments telling you how wonderful your post was or how touched they were by your message or even use one of your posts as a reference. Its a good feeling, the attention, but what happens when you start getting it from a crowd you never expected?

One of my latest posts got a pingback from a blog site today. On getting the notification I clicked on the link only to realize that I had stepped into a world absolutely different from mine. Its okay when you get on your blog and see that your blog post was liked by “your kind of people” or that they were touched by your ideas and opinion, but what do you do when your message is applauded by someone you have always considered different from you? I can’t go into detail as to what makes this person different, but my guess is that you have a few ideas relating to what I’m going on about.

Anyway, I saw the blog and noticed that my article had been made reference to in one of the blog posts. My first reaction was to trash the comment, but then something in my head or maybe my heart stopped me.  This all happened while I was at the office so I really didn’t have time to fully assess the situation. After quick deliberation I finally decided to spam it for a time, at least until I was sure about my convictions. Meanwhile, I had been receiving this broadcast from friends on my blackberry network all day saying:

“Hello, I am Jesus Christ,u hardly have time for me. I love You and always bless you.I am always with You. Today I want this message across the world before midnight, please do not cut it and I’ll help you with something that you are in need of.“

I’m sorry,  I love Christ and all and I RRRREALLY do, but why some people try to make him look like some sort of sales person or item is beyond me! I feel broadcasts like this one just belittles the image of my Lord and Saviour.

So what does this have to do with my initial story? A lot!

Me not rebroadcasting that message had got me feeling a little uneasy from the moment I started receiving it. I felt irritated and yet just because the message bore the name Jesus Christ in it, I was filled with guilt for not wanting to follow the B.B re-broadcasting horde. “Don’t I love Jesus enough?” I thought to myself. Then the blog issue hit! Whether or not I would accept this blogger’s comment on my page would be a test of my faith.

The sense of guilt seemed only to increase when I decided I wouldn’t delete the comment. “O so you’d rather have funny people on your blog, but rebroadcasting a message about Jesus is an issue huh?”. I wondered how Jesus saw me at that time.

At home I took my time to read this persons blog, and though their opinion and way of life is FAR DIFFERENT from mine, I could see how my message might have helped through certain feelings and emotion. It was then I realized, “your kind of people” or not, its all about making a positive contribution to a “LIFE”. Loving your neighbor as yourself and bringing peace and joy to others, isn’t that what being christian is all about?

I decided to reach out to this person and apologize for my initial reaction to their comment because in the end its all about practicing what you preach… I preach Love and acceptance, judging not so that I too will not be judged.

My final take. You can broadcast or rebroadcast messages about Christ a million and one times believing that this is your contribution to the christian race , but if your message only tends to scare, irritate or even put people on a spiritual guilt trip then maybe you need to re-think your strategy on how to draw lost sheep to The Father and Son. Its not about selling him as an idea but becoming more like him in spirit and person, that others may see and draw near.

Let your actions, thoughts and behavior speak louder than your broadcasts…

Cheers!

The words of a foreign body

She’s crying again, her vibrating sobs seem to echo through. There’s talk  about doctors and pills and how time seems to be running out. I can feel the build up of tension as it invades my space, voices raise as the conversation reaches its climax and then something slams shut. We are alone again, she, drowning in her tears and I, left to feeling every bit of her pain.

Its quiet, there’s little movement and shes breathing calmly now… She’s asleep I believe. This is the only time I get to exist without her negative air trying to choke the peace out of me… Its been like this for a few days now, up until then  she had been a much jollier person.  I have experienced her many emotions during the course of my existence but this feeling of hurt had never been so intense till she found out about me. Often times I wonder if I am the reason for her tears, shouldn’t I be here? ….Maybe if I keep still long enough she will forget that I’m here and things will return to normal, but I doubt that will work, it would only make me even more uncomfortable.

She wakes and I don’t feel that intense sadness anymore, it seems to have been replaced by this unexplainable calm while she slept.  I’m not sure I like this sensation… there’s this feeling of disconnect, almost as though she’s keeping her true feelings from me and I’m left all alone in this weightless wonderland. I hear her voice as she speaks to an unheard other, the word “doctor” comes up again and an appointment has just been set for tomorrow… If only I could go back to the first 3 moons of my existence when it was all about food and swimming, she felt happier and so did I… Now all I may ever know is her feeling of regret and my feeling of rejection…

“There is nothing in the whole world so painful as feeling that one is not liked. It always seems to me that people who hate me must be suffering from some kind of lunacy.” – Sei Shonagon

What More Could THIS Daughter Ask For!

🙂 Just Click!==> “What More Could THIS Daughter Ask For!“.

“Love is a Desert” – Conversation with Michael


“Hi Cousin!

How’s Love and Life” he asked,

 

My response, “Life is Grrrreat!!!;

…Love is a Desert”

He laughs,

“I find your disposition towards

the situation quite amusing” he says,

but remember everything has its season;

…Do not forget that In the desert

the rarest and MOST BEAUTIFUL

flowers bloom!

Not to worry Coz,

your time will come soon.”

“Thanks!”  I said,

“Your interpretation

of my situation

is MUCH appreciated!”

So I wait…..

…. And If love truly be a desert,

then I stay patiently for it to be wetted.

©2010 Festivalking

…In expectation of the next "Joie de vivre"….

Hello,

In fullness of mind I write….

Its all about the emptiness of this life you see… my fears, pains, and (unashamed to say it)…  my Complex. YES! “MY” Complex…
They say “a problem is half solved when you own up to the point of the matter”, so I always like to establish my flaws each time I swing into this mood (it helps!). However, I am yet to grasp what is required to fully solve the other half of MY “problem”.
The thought that everyone else is better than me or running their lives better than me has always been a major dismal… I often battle with this cross along the way of my adult life.
When I think of all the things I could have been, that I am not; what I wasted away (Talent wise) and the time I have lost! Its enough to make me want to take my own life, but I’m still here…. thankful to The “God-Head”, and yet in dark times (which we ALL have), I have often wondered, “Why?“…This burden of FEELING and PONDERING has brought on such mental and physical pain, I find  myself battling them each day. I feel like Saul in the Bible who was tormented by a spirit until David came along and played some of that good music on a string. My David has always been my “Tears”  and “Prayer” and the music, “my God”. I have hoped for more days when I don’t have to approach His mercy seat with such a burdensome heart but with one of Thanks giving, and yet He is AWESOMELY faithful to sooth my aching heart at all times.
Dear reader, you really don’t need to be reading this I know, and although this was written on a wet, cold and boring Sunday, these words are to encourage you. You are not alone in this world of doubt; Everyone has their issues. Some of us are just stronger than others in concealing them; Others, handling them and moving on, while some others are strong enough to speak out and not ashamed to let people see them for who they really are in their weakness.
P.S- In reading this blog kindly do not misunderstand my person… I am not a sad woman or one with an unfortunate childhood. No, I have leaved 29+ GOOD and naturally CHALLENGED years; experienced joy and depression; Love and Hate…. Have lied and been lied to; Won and Lost out (BIG TIME on both accounts)…. In totality, I have been there and done that, and am still looking forward to more of Life’s many  experiences.
…And like every man or woman who has breath in their lungs I have had days when I shed uncontrollable tears and screamed out “WHY ME?!”, but in some common sense there is REASON to be thankful. Remember that we all exist for a “PURPOSE”and so, until our purpose is realised the best we can do is to dust ourselves off  in times of disappointment, and be expectant of the next “joie de vivre”.
I’m glad if you can relate to this… I can!

HAVE A BLESSED WEEK! 🙂