Tag: fear

Ex..aaam Fever! (dVerse)

At the thought of an Examination my bowel gives way
The mention conjuring huge beads of sweat.
Recollection of question filled sheets with few hours to complete
Panic besets me and suddenly I need to take a sh…

Is it me or is the classroom spinningย  fast?
Someone PLEASE shut the windows!
Chills and Hot flashes descend my confused body
The room seems to grow smaller with each minute so I eject

Tick-Tock! Tick-Tock! Time moving fast
Question filled sheet still lay unanswered
Outside, my body with a mind of its own renders mine helpless
Fresh air, water on face and a moment with “John” does the trick!

Back and ready to resume the intellectual battle
Not much time left but I give it my best
A race against time before the “pens up!”
…The situation for most of my youth

Deliverance came in grasping:

Life is one BIG TEST!
Failure is not death,
Mistakes occur for us to learn,
and it is with confidence most battles are won

Now a case of mind over matter
I have bowel movements only test periods after
To my fear of failure I have waved goodbye
Though the mention of an Ex….aaaam will still stir myย  butterfly ๐Ÿ˜‰

Tonight on dVerse (http://dversepoets.com/2012/10/13/poetics-poeticaphobia/) the challenge is to write a poem about a phobia or something that scares you. I have written about a real phobia of mine, which I battled for most of my youth. Today however, I am glad to tell you that I have 90% of this fear under control… Progress, no! ๐Ÿ˜‰
Thanks Stuart for such a wonderful night at the bar! ๐Ÿ™‚

 

INTERMISSION

These blank pages lay empty,
I yearn to fill them with love, hate, joy or melancholy
But expression weighs thin, while desire to fill each page burns feverishly within.
My voice is trapped within fear’s cage,
I am as an unsure artist, paralyzed as I take the stage.
These sheets are naked,
I yearn to clothe them with my emotion,
to bathe them in “self” with each stroke of ink
and bear my soul’s devotion; to let my heart speak.
But I am hunted by barren imagination born of caution’s defeat.
Like a rain cloud, I am pregnant with word,
but the fear to birth them keeps a voice unheard.
…Anxiety seems to stifle this song bird.
I sought approval from an unseen audience,
I suppressed “true self ” and lost “true vision”
Bringing death to many expressions from fear of rejection,
This, the cause of a long-ass intermission.
From fear’s cage I now break free,
I seek my voice’s redemption; my Immortality….
Throwing caution to the wind I allow these words unwind.
No longer will I let the audience my words define
For these sheets, these pages… they are not their space, they are mine…
ยฉ2012 Festivalking

 

Hi guys! ๐Ÿ™‚
I am SO sorry for the long silence, but I think this piece explains why I sort of went into a shell. Missed you all and am hoping to get back into the groove of things ๐Ÿ™‚
…. MUCH LOVE! ๐Ÿ˜‰