Sex’s Soul

If sex has a soul
then you and I have found it;

If it were a state,
then we have wondered its hills
and tasted of its fountains.

If sex was a vine
then we have drank of its sweet wine;
If it were a race
then we have reached the finish line;

We have danced to its glorious song,
that sweet rapture
that has taken us through the night long.

Sex’s soul!
A cauldron of heat and fire.
It bursts forth as sweat, smell and screams;
born of man’s desire!

We have found its place,
not many seen,
and have visited over and over,
as many lovers been.

And as we reach journey’s end of “you”and “I”,
sex’s soul is lost for an instant,
until each with new love re-visit it;
We embark on new flights,
to climb its many hills
and drink of its fountains;

…To find the soul of sex.

©2009 Festivalking

To the Virgin Mother and my Master, her Blessed Son.

These words are born not from one of denomination but of an appreciative mind of what Mother and Son must have had to endure….


How do I tell you I am sorry for all your pain dear Mother and Son
The sacrifice you made was tremendous and yet each time I turn a blind eye and do as I please… I take you back to that moment .
Master and Mother… Please take pity on this young woman’s soul.
Dear Master and Son, you were scourged for my sins; bruised for my iniquity and yet…daily I find ways of putting you back on that tree.














Dear Mother, although you knew since the time of my Master’s birth the weight he would carry, still you brought Him up to embrace that destiny. It couldn’t have been easy for you… You a woman like myself and yet nothing like me.
You bore a child; raised and nurtured him in the way of the Lord. Of course you must have known the dangers that laid ahead for the Son of Man but you encouraged him still.


I apologise for every time its seem as if I do not appreciate the pain you went through.
 


….Thank you Dear and Blessed Mother.



 THANK YOU MOTHER AND SON




For my Dear Papa… The late Mr Kadiri Patrick Otaru Snr.

Dearest Papa,

To me you did not die, God took you and that will always be my comfort.
Our relationship was a complete one. You were my father, my teacher, and in your later years you became my friend and adviser. I loved you; I feared you and as I got older that fear became respect.
Papa, I am more than privileged to have been your daughter. If life were to start all over again for me I would still want to be of your seed, and Mama’s as well.
Thank you for dancing with me when you did; for all my childhood pictures; for lessons you taught me about life….. I could go on and on Papa but thank you most of all for appreciating us, your family.
I will always hold you close to my heart and listen for your voice each time your son, Kadiri Junior speaks. 


… TO THE FATHER WHO BECAME A GREAT FRIEND TO HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN!!!!


…In expectation of the next "Joie de vivre"….

Hello,

In fullness of mind I write….

Its all about the emptiness of this life you see… my fears, pains, and (unashamed to say it)…  my Complex. YES! “MY” Complex…
They say “a problem is half solved when you own up to the point of the matter”, so I always like to establish my flaws each time I swing into this mood (it helps!). However, I am yet to grasp what is required to fully solve the other half of MY “problem”.
The thought that everyone else is better than me or running their lives better than me has always been a major dismal… I often battle with this cross along the way of my adult life.
When I think of all the things I could have been, that I am not; what I wasted away (Talent wise) and the time I have lost! Its enough to make me want to take my own life, but I’m still here…. thankful to The “God-Head”, and yet in dark times (which we ALL have), I have often wondered, “Why?“…This burden of FEELING and PONDERING has brought on such mental and physical pain, I find  myself battling them each day. I feel like Saul in the Bible who was tormented by a spirit until David came along and played some of that good music on a string. My David has always been my “Tears”  and “Prayer” and the music, “my God”. I have hoped for more days when I don’t have to approach His mercy seat with such a burdensome heart but with one of Thanks giving, and yet He is AWESOMELY faithful to sooth my aching heart at all times.
Dear reader, you really don’t need to be reading this I know, and although this was written on a wet, cold and boring Sunday, these words are to encourage you. You are not alone in this world of doubt; Everyone has their issues. Some of us are just stronger than others in concealing them; Others, handling them and moving on, while some others are strong enough to speak out and not ashamed to let people see them for who they really are in their weakness.
P.S- In reading this blog kindly do not misunderstand my person… I am not a sad woman or one with an unfortunate childhood. No, I have leaved 29+ GOOD and naturally CHALLENGED years; experienced joy and depression; Love and Hate…. Have lied and been lied to; Won and Lost out (BIG TIME on both accounts)…. In totality, I have been there and done that, and am still looking forward to more of Life’s many  experiences.
…And like every man or woman who has breath in their lungs I have had days when I shed uncontrollable tears and screamed out “WHY ME?!”, but in some common sense there is REASON to be thankful. Remember that we all exist for a “PURPOSE”and so, until our purpose is realised the best we can do is to dust ourselves off  in times of disappointment, and be expectant of the next “joie de vivre”.
I’m glad if you can relate to this… I can!

HAVE A BLESSED WEEK! 🙂

My Mommie; My Roomie!

I KNEW IT! I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE BLOGGED ABOUT THIS BEFORE SHE STRUCK! NOW IT ONLY SOUNDS LIKE I’M BITCHING!
 
Mom’s in town!!!!…..   🙂 :(….
 
Before her arrival it had crossed my mind how I no longer had my dad to be that buffer between us. Sure we are best of friends, but we do have our moments when we become night and day (I call her my sparing partner and say that off all her 3 children, I am the only one that has the right to give her pure hell)….but that’s where my old man always came in. Not literally though! Just the thought of him always brought back a sense of reasoning or relief during our quarrels.  I would tell myself that it was only a matter of time before her focus returned to “her dear Kadiri” (my dad).
 
Yes, Papa was my mom’s MAJOR hobby; Her distraction; Her big baby!… Now he’s gone she has all the time on her hands to be my mom; my friend and MY MOTHER (…that’s when we don’t see eye to eye!) … and she presently gets to do all this at close range, AS MY ROOMMATE….. 😦 🙂
 
If you’ve ever shared a room with someone then you know how it is. In some cases you share Everything! the bed, bathroom, the lights…. I call it the “Mi casa, su casa Syndrome”… Its the natural course of things, but not with a Mom! When she turns “MOTHER”, She wants to share other things such as your LIFE; she tries to tell you how to dress, who you should see; She wants to know what you are doing, when you get back and reasons why you got in so late; She wants you to smile even after a hard talking to… All that and a whole lot more…..
I guess it comes with her job. A good friend once told me that its a mother’s job to worry about and for her children. That’s sweet and all, but I think it  losses its charm when she begins to encroach on the lives of her adult kids….
 
As children we warm up to the fear our mothers have for us; it makes us feel safe and loved. Then we get older, and we feel mommie can stop being afraid now, we can take it from here…  but some moms just don’t know when to call it quits. They still want that little boy or girl that will run into their arms once there is a grazed knee; That child that hangs on to every word mommie says; That child still full of innocence and oblivious of negative emotions brought on by this world.
The beautiful thing about a mother is that if she could, she would shield her babies from every single harm  there is in this world even until death…. but sadly, that’s not part of her portfolio.
 
I know my Mommie for one would prefer for me to leave life through her eyes and by her standards (most of them good) but I can’t. I have to make my own mistakes. She can only offer her advice, while I as the horse that she has taken to the river will choose whether to drink or not, but no amount of bickering will force a change on an almost 30 year old CHILD like myself.
 
…SHE DIDN”T EVEN GIVE ME A HEAD START! It took her less than 24hours after her arrival to Lag. to assume the role of “MOTHER” ….
 
The 100% success of any GOOD Roomie relationship is mutual respect for each others space and personal boundaries…. but that can only happen when one of the persons is NOT your Mom… because she will always find a way round becoming your “MOTHER”.
 
…So I guess I’ll have to go with maybe a 50-60% success rate…. 😉
 
 
Love you loads Mama! 😉  xxxxxxx