Might I sing a song like Solomon‘s,
asking for your arms to embrace me;
to shield me from the cruelty of Adam,
his unknowingness and the deep darkness of his heart
Can I ask for your love to guide me;
to steer my soul,
to be my north star in this maze called life….
She’s crying again, her vibrating sobs seem to echo through. There’s talk about doctors and pills and how time seems to be running out. I can feel the build up of tension as it invades my space, voices raise as the conversation reaches its climax and then something slams shut. We are alone again, she, drowning in her tears and I, left to feeling every bit of her pain.
Its quiet, there’s little movement and shes breathing calmly now… She’s asleep I believe. This is the only time I get to exist without her negative air trying to choke the peace out of me… Its been like this for a few days now, up until then she had been a much jollier person. I have experienced her many emotions during the course of my existence but this feeling of hurt had never been so intense till she found out about me. Often times I wonder if I am the reason for her tears, shouldn’t I be here? ….Maybe if I keep still long enough she will forget that I’m here and things will return to normal, but I doubt that will work, it would only make me even more uncomfortable.
She wakes and I don’t feel that intense sadness anymore, it seems to have been replaced by this unexplainable calm while she slept. I’m not sure I like this sensation… there’s this feeling of disconnect, almost as though she’s keeping her true feelings from me and I’m left all alone in this weightless wonderland. I hear her voice as she speaks to an unheard other, the word “doctor” comes up again and an appointment has just been set for tomorrow… If only I could go back to the first 3 moons of my existence when it was all about food and swimming, she felt happier and so did I… Now all I may ever know is her feeling of regret and my feeling of rejection…
“There is nothing in the whole world so painful as feeling that one is not liked. It always seems to me that people who hate me must be suffering from some kind of lunacy.” – Sei Shonagon
To be free, oh to be free! To be fulfilled, oh to be fulfilled! To wake up in the morning without the daily worries: what will suit my taste buds for the day or do I look good in this, even if I do, does it make me feel good? “What will they say” has never been my creed, so what people will think is one less thing to worry about.
To wake up to a bright clear day, To wish for the world and get the world (may be that is asking for too much, what would I do with it after all), at the very least to be able to indulge in those little things that give some of life’s greatest pleasures, like reading a damn good novel while reclining on a very comfortable sofa, watching a damn good movie (probably in the same position), savouring the sweetness of very nice chocolate, may be, no, D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y a bowl of ice cream; Each spoon sliding cooly down my throat, properly spiced chicken wings, a glass of “California White…“, reading an exceptional article by someone who knows his onions, feeling the rhythm and soul of inspiring music, enjoying a long, lazy day on the beach, conversing with the very brightest of minds…. Just being me without restrictions. The goal; be happy, the key; peace of mind.
Apologies for my silence folks! I have been pretty under the weather lately, but I’m doing MUCH better now and looking forward to feeling more pages 😉 …Thanking God for his MANY mercies! 🙂NOW! still on the subject of celebrating “Girl Power” 😉 , please join me in saying a BIG “Well Done” to Miss Bisola Oladosu! She sent me this piece just yesterday and I totally fell in love with it (Pardon me if I’m wrong, but I think its a perfect example of a “Prose Poem“). Just to think that I’m not the only one who’s got this dream of a perfect world filled with Ice Cream and White wine and Music and BOOKS! (Scratch that and give me a cinema hall with pop-corn and soda and all kinds of movie classics to go! 😉 )Way to go Bisola! I certainly can relate to “your world” 😉 (Wanting it ssoooo bad! 😀 )
Tick tock tick tock, My heart beats slowly, When when when when I feel so lonely, Inhale, exhale, My breath starts stalling, When when when when My tears starts falling.Boom boom boom boom, My head starts pounding, When when when when My thoughts starts wandering. Hiss hiss hiss hiss, My anger starts rising, When when when when My mind’s uprising.Inhale……..exhale….., My breath starts fluttering, When when when when My body starts faulting. Tick tock tick tock, My heart beats slowly, When when when when My life feels lowly.by: Tintin
Say hello to Tintin! 🙂 A very talented writer and poet, this chick is an artist in every way. With a degree in Fine art, she is also a make-up artist by profession. Proudly she’s also MY COUSIN! :D. You can find more of her poems and short stories on her blog “That Nigerian Girl“, which she hardly uses these days 😦 …. but we are working on that aren’t we Tin! 😉Until our next female guest… GO GIRL POWER!!! 😀Cheers! 😉
She sent me this piece just yesterday and I totally fell in love with it (Pardon me if I’m wrong, but I think its a perfect example of a “Prose Poem“). Just to think that I’m not the only one who’s got this dream of a perfect world filled with Ice Cream and White wine and Music and 🙂 Just Click!==> “What More Could THIS Daughter Ask For!“.
Festival King 